Booze for a Busy Lifestyle? Powdered Alcohol Packets Just Went Up in Smoke
(Illustrated by Lauren Wade)
Have powdered drink mixes met their tipsy match?
Last weekend, Onion-worthy stories of a product called Palcohol, a patent-pending, portable alcoholic drink mix, swept the Internet. The claim: To create a cosmopolitan, just rip open a Pop Rocks–size packet, mix one ounce of concentrated powder with five ounces of water, and voilà—instant cocktail.
It was enough to make us wonder how exactly authorities from the country that banned Four Loko and has an ongoing war on drugs could sanction the packets. Well, on Monday afternoon, a representative from the U.S. Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau said approval for Palcohol was mistakenly issued and has been rescinded.
Beverage law website operator Robert Lehrman told USA Today that because products are extensively reviewed before labels are approved, he suspects that pressure from concerned lawmakers might have put the brakes on the drink mix. Palcohol's website featured edgy (and legally questionable) suggestions for using the packets.
“What’s worse than going to a concert, sporting event, etc. and having to pay $10, $15, $20 for a mixed drink with tax and tip,” the website read. “Are you kidding me?! Take Palcohol into the venue and enjoy a mixed drink for a fraction of the cost.”
The government freak-out also could've been over people potentially snorting the powder. Palcohol's website previously said, "Yes, you can snort it. And you'll get drunk almost instantly because the alcohol will be absorbed so quickly in your nose."
Palcohol's website now claims it was just being “humorous” and advises that “alcohol should be used in a responsible and legal manner." Any mention of sneaking the packets into sporting events or concerts has been scrubbed from the site, and the company is also warning consumers about the dangers of attempting to become intoxicated through inhalation.
“We have seen comments about goofballs wanting to snort it. Don't do it! It is not a responsible or smart way to use the product,” Palcohol's website says. It also notes that to lessen the possibility of snorting, the company has “added volume to the powder so it would take more than a half of a cup of powder to get the equivalent of one drink up your nose. You would feel a lot of pain for very little gain. Just use it the right way.”
According to Palcohol's manufacturer, privately held parent company Lipsmark, the product is the legitimate brainchild of adventurous entrepreneur and wine connoisseur Mark Phillips. He wanted to be able to kick back and have a cocktail after spending hours hiking or kayaking. It’s not practical, however, to lug around heavy aluminum cans or breakable liquor bottles while you’re trekking up a mountain or white-water rafting. Phillips went in search of the alcoholic version of a powdered lemonade mix packet. When he couldn't find what he was looking for, Phillips connected with scientists to create the convenient product.
The Palcohol website still claims the packets will be available in the fall. But if the company can't get that much-needed regulatory approval, the whole scheme looks like it's up in smoke.