Pssst, FDA: If You Want to Keep Teens Away From E-Cigarettes, Ban Gummy Bear Vapor Flavors

Breathe a sigh of relief, America. Thanks to the Food and Drug Administration’s proposed new regulations on electronic cigarettes, it’s likely we’ll no longer have to see television commercials featuring anti-vaxxer and former Playboy centerfold Jenny McCarthy purring about how e-cigs, tubes that heat a liquid nicotine solution, are awesome and convenient.

The FDA’s new rules—no more sponsoring sporting and entertainment events, no more claiming the devices are a healthy alternative to cigarettes, and no more television spots—put an end to the Wild West advertising freedom e-cig manufacturers have enjoyed over the past few years. But the regulatory agency missed cracking down on a key way e-cig manufacturers are doing their darndest to lure the next generation into smoking: kid-friendly vapor flavors.

In recent years, declines in youth smoking rates have shown that exposure to horrifying PSAs of former cancer stick puffers have worked—that clip "Tips From Terrie," with the woman getting dressed while talking through a hole in her throat, could probably get the Devil himself to swear off smoking. But just because kids no longer think it’s cool to smoke traditional cigs doesn’t mean cigarette companies are willing to go out of business. Enter gummy bear–, cotton candy–, and bubblegum-flavored e-cig vapor.

If you doubt those flavors are designed to lure in kids, ask yourself this: How many adults do you know who want to regularly smoke or taste a product that smells like a pack of Bubblicious?

The companies’ tactics have worked. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 10 percent of high school students now say they smoke e-cigs, and the overall number of sixth to 12th graders who lit up the devices doubled between 2011 and 2012. That translates to 1.8 million new customers potentially getting hooked on liquid nicotine.

The CDC’s concern is that e-cig use will be a gateway to puffing on traditional cigarettes—which is why it’s puzzling that the FDA didn’t also ban the candy flavors. (C’mon, FDA regulators, give those suckers a dirt flavor that nobody wants to inhale!)

On the bright side, the devices will now come with health warnings about how they could lead to nicotine addiction. Nearly half of states allow minors to legally purchase the vaporizers, so the new rules will also prohibit the sale of e-cigs to minors. They’ll no longer be available in kid-accessible vending machines either. Whether Jenny McCarthy will still have a job hawking these puppies (do you think she lets her unvaccinated kids smoke them, or are they too dangerous?) remains to be seen.